We are inclined to romanticise our future, which is often why we disappoint ourselves

CV of Failures

A month and a half ago, I published a blog post presenting Professor Johannes Haushofer’s viral ‘CV of failures.’ In his CV, Professor Haushofer highlighted all the rejections and failures he had experienced when he was an Assistant Professor at Princeton.

For over a decade, Professor Haushofer, along with other established academics, has joined the academic movement of publicising how often intellectuals receive rejections for everything from job applications and funding applications to fellowship applications.

A very crucial point argued by Professor Haushofer is that, especially in today’s social media epoch, the public often lives in their own bubbles where they assume high achievers are more likely to succeed than to fail. Such a misunderstanding not only compounds their own envy and frustration but can also lead to feelings of social and professional dislocation, making them believe that they fail more often than they deserve.

The harsh truth is that all so-called high achievers likely have (as I do not want to make overly absolute claims) more experience with facing failures and receiving rejections than the ordinary majority. While the majority tends to see only the tip of the iceberg (i.e., success) of high achievers’ careers, they often fail to see or remain unaware of the frequent and regular rejections and failures these successful cohorts have to endure.

One of my favourite quotes from established intellectuals and start-up founders is that they do not necessarily outsmart or outperform others, but they “only started.” This implies that successful people are not afraid to “try,” to “fail,” and to learn from failure and re-attempt until they succeed.

So, here’s the bigger picture: The notable gap between ordinary people and high achievers is that the former tend to romanticise their lives while the latter normalise and expect failures.

The Right Mindset Around Failure and Success

The other day, I saw a blogger sharing a perspective on Medium, arguing that we should accept and embrace failures to keep us motivated and active in the pursuit of success. I left a comment on her blog. I acknowledged that while accepting and embracing failures is a sensible approach to staying driven, a healthier and more sustainable mindset would be to avoid expecting success upfront whenever we work on a task or submit an application.

There is a thin line between embracing failures and not expecting success upfront. It is our disposition to assume and romanticise success once we try to achieve something. Accepting and embracing failures often implies that we are disappointed when our lives do not follow our dreams. Yet, we push ourselves to embrace such disappointment and related negative feelings.

In reality, failures are common and successes are bonuses.

Although assuming success upfront might be how we, as human beings, are programmed, we can still learn to rewire our mindset towards normalising failures instead of continuing to romanticise our lives. Whenever reality does not align with our imagination and expectations, we tend to feel deflated and victimise ourselves.

Such encounters and feelings of dislocation recur until we align our expectations with reality. This means acknowledging that failures are common and normal, and that the chances of succeeding are often very slim. A better understanding of reality allows us to minimise the odds of self-disappointment. This also enables us to cherish success, where appropriate.

Sometimes it is healthy to romanticise our lives, especially when reality makes little sense. Yet, sometimes we have to be more pragmatic—normalising failure and stopping ourselves from assuming success upfront.

Thanks for reading my perspectives. If you would like to learn more about (mental) health, personal development and/or (online) education from me, please feel free to subscribe to my newsletter below. Also please feel free to browse my blog—Society & Growth—for more content at https://jasonhungofficialblog.com/.