My PhD journey at the University of Cambridge was progressing steadily. Of course, I also encountered endless setbacks, burnout, and self-doubt. I even occasionally had suicidal thoughts, browsing online to see whether I was eligible for euthanasia in Switzerland or Belgium.

But why was I so stressed in my PhD journey? Or why are so many of you stressed in your life journeys? Of course, we can mention the academic or professional stresses, the associated interpersonal conflicts, and the sense of impotence that we, whether high achievers or those who are mediocre, often encounter.

But today I want to focus on the constant failures and the inflicted chronic depression. All high achievers, those graduating from Ivy League schools or Oxbridge, for example, cannot be exempt from encountering constant failures and setbacks. Indeed, high achievers, as widely recognised, are more experienced in failures not necessarily because they are less gifted but because they are ambitious enough to keep expanding their academic and professional footprints in fields they are yet to be familiar with.

Years ago, I doubted myself a lot. Academically, I progressed steadily despite ample setbacks—which I will elaborate below. However, in niche industries that did not necessarily require high thresholds for entry, such as content creation or digital marketing, I could not gain any solid footing while many social media influencers seemed to be doing exceptionally well and earning fat paychecks.

Once, I was naive enough to think that if we can excel in fields that require high thresholds for entry, we can certainly excel in alternative fields that have bare minimum levels of thresholds. But things do not necessarily happen this way. Each of us is better in some niches than others. Early adulthood is a perfect time for us to explore different niches—whether they are conventional, such as becoming academic scholars, lawyers, or doctors, or unconventional, such as becoming content creators, podcasters, and vloggers.

I once heard very established content creators say we should prioritise doing what we are passionate about. This is not because we are better at doing what we are passionate about. It is rather because whatever niches we pick up and focus on, we will encounter countless setbacks that are mostly invisible to outsiders. If we are dedicated to doing something we are passionate about, even when we suffer during the process, we enjoy the suffering to some degree and are less likely to quit prematurely.

My passions are all about developing investigative stories as a sociologist and a freelance journalist, as much as storytelling as a book author, columnist, and now, budding blogger. I like the art of words, especially how different combinations of words can provoke different thoughts, attitudes, and emotions.

Do I fail a lot as a researcher and writer? Of course, I have failed countless times, and I am still failing month after month. As a researcher, my job is to constantly apply for different research funding schemes. As long as I am funded, I am given the opportunity to develop an investigative story—presented in the form of a book, a newspaper column, or a journal article—for a certain period of time. However, the success rates of applying for funding are very low in academia.

Each time I receive another rejection from a funder, I become depressed, doubting myself and suffering from acute impostor syndrome. Yet, after years in academia, I acknowledge that such encounters are inevitable for every so-called high achiever. Receiving a rejection still stinks. But I am far less likely to develop chronic depression and suicidal thoughts today than I was yesterday when I receive rejection after rejection.

The silver lining is that fellowship and/or grant application outcomes in academic research are usually seasonal. In my case, after receiving rejection after rejection for half a year to a year, I usually end up receiving an acceptance from any given funder. Then, I will face countless rejections again until I receive the next acceptance from another funder.

And this is the trajectory of academic research. To a broader extent, this is the cycle of professional life. High achievers, like those who are mediocre at best, are no different when encountering rejections and failures. Yet, one thing setting them apart from those who are mediocre is that high achievers normalise their setbacks and continue to chase successes in life.

It is all about the mindset.